I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize