do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
pray to the hookup gods
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize