you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
