she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
