I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
