so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
