She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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