dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize