I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
