dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
