this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
