Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize