So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
