doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
