Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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