not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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