Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
