she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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