I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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