I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
