I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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