I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I look better un-naked...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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