i may or may not be watching the land before time
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
