Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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