Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
