Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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