I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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