im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this boner is exhausting
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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