Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
