Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
