I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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