Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
