we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
