I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
