Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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