I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
