I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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