This is not my ceiling
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
