Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
