I bet he comes in French.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
