i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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