Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
