***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
