I love black thongs
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize