just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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