I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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