do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
