i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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