Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
