no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
