I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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