Swine flu is the new snow day.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
