Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
