Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
