so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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