you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
