so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
