Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
