4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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