fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I got inside last night via doggy door
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
