He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
