home. puking in laundry basket.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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