Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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