I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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