sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize