I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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