Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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