even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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