OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
